My Mom & Dad
I haven't posted for ages but after losing my mom it seems like a good place to journal some of my thoughts about her and losing her. I cannot believe the funeral was already a week ago or that it was over a week since I spent those last few hours with her. She wasn't talking but was responding by raising her eyebrows or opening her eyes when my sisters talked to her on the phone or those of us there talked to her. I know she knows we were there & we were with her. I don't remember exactly what the last thing I said was before she died, it was just Mom and I when it happened. I got there about 5:30 after Grace's Girl Scout meeting, left about 10:00, and returned about 11:00. I told her I was there and was going to stay all night. She was gone when I checked on her at 11:35. It was so peaceful that I wasn't sure.
I saw a prayer answered that day. I talked to my sister at about 2:30 that afternoon, we needed to decide if we wanted to give Mom a feeding tube to see if she would regain her strength or not do the procedure and start hospice care. I prayed for God to make the decision for us. By the time I got to the hospital she had deteriorated to a stage where the feeding tube was no longer possible. In a few hours time I saw HIS intervention and my prayer answered.
She has had MS for about 25 years. It was diagnosed my senior year of high school. Now after having that disease for so long, 10 years in a nursing home, not being able to walk or have the strength to do all those things she wanted to do when she retired (write children's books, help Grandma get her GED, play with her grandkids) she now can. She is no longer confined to a wheelchair or bed. She can now walk and dance and do anything. She can see us whenever she wants to now not have to wait for a visitor to come to the nursing home.
There are moments when I forget. I think of something I need to tell her, or want to go visit when I'm driving around town. Those are the saddest moments. Gracie is missing her Grandma terribly. I have held her more than one night while she cuddles the toy dog she always played with at Grandma's and cries. Lila misses her too but isn't able to express it as well so she's having nightmares and being very emotional. It's hard to see my little girls hurting.
Other than Mom's death we have been busy with the usual things in life. Lila had 2 teeth crowned, they gave her oral sedation medication so she was really loopy from that for a day.
Halloween was a fun filled weekend of costumes, pumpkin carving, and trick or treaters. We are now preparing for Thanksgiving and more family time.
2 tired little girls with all their loot!
