Another Adoption Poem

In My Heart
Not flesh of my flesh,
Nor bone of my bone,
But still, miraculously my own.
Never forget for a single minute,
You didn't grow under my heart,
But in it.
Author Unknown

Holidays, waiting, hoping....

We have now been waiting for Lila longer than I was pregnant with Grace. This fact, along with the holidays, has made me very melancholy. I want my little girl home. I worry that she's somewhere alone, longing for a family, waiting, just like we are for her.

Before Christmas, Gracie asked me what I wanted Santa to bring me. I said pajamas, candy, but most of all I wish he could bring me Lila. In her wonderful 3-year-old logic she told me that Santa has a sleigh so he can just go to China & pick her up on the way here. I laughed and said I wished it was that easy but that we have to keep waiting until just the right time. She amazes me every day!

We did have a great Christmas. We celebrated for over a week. We started on the 17th because Gerry's brother & family were here from Florida. Our Great-Niece Miah is only 2 months younger than Grace so they were inseparable. NOISY but inseparable. We spent the 17th (Monday) at Gerry's parents with the whole family then Wednesday, Jim, Sue, Matt, Luke, Rachael, Mark & Miah came over so Grace & Miah could play. The little girls had every toy in Grace's room spread out all over the floor. It was wonderful to get to see them while they were here. Sue & I are thinking a trip to Disney is a MUST with the 2 of them. Hopefully there will be 3 little girls if Lila is home by then. I totally fell in love with little Miss Miah while they were here, she is adorable!

Santa was very good to Miss Grace. She got the baby she has been asking for. She told Santa she wanted the baby with a binky. She also got books, games, clothes, monkeys, ladybugs, legos, etc. Gerry was off all week so we have been playing with all the new toys!

I hope everyone had a great Christmas. We realize we are truly blessed and will keep waiting to be blessed even more with our Lila.

No news

Our agency has just said that they have notified all of the parents who were chosen to review the waiting children files. We didn't make it this time. We are very excited for those who did find their little ones today!

It's WC List time again!!

Our agency received a new list of waiting children. They were available for us to view on Monday. We just applied to review 2 files. Like last time all the applicants for each child will be put into a hat and one family will be randomly drawn to get to view the file. Both little girls are adorable and will be a cherished addition to our family if we are chosen for either one. We will know on Monday the 22nd if we get either file.

Keep your fingers crossed & say a couple prayers for us!!

Poem

God plans adoptions from Heaven, and he searches the world you see,
for people who long to be parents, people like Daddy and me.
Then, in his own time, he answers the prayer they've been praying so long,
and he finds a child who is waiting, to fill their lives with a song.
You are the child we prayed for, so special, so precious, so sweet!
The one who we'll cherish forever, the one who makes our life complete.

I can't wait to share this poem with Lila.

The most recent adoption news is that we will have a new waiting children list in October. They are sent every few months to the agencies. We will look to see if any of the children might be our little one.

Not much happening (adoption-wise that is)

I haven't posted for awhile. We're in the waiting phase so that's just what we're doing. Meanwhile I have started a new job. I'm in training to be a work-from-home customer service agent. I will be mainly taking orders for infomercial products. I will set my own schedule so can work when I am available. I heard about this from my brother-in-law Jim's cousin Shannen (Jim=the one married to my sister not Gerry's brother) when I was visiting with her at Kyle's birthday party. Her boyfriend is a supervisor (PAL, performance assistance liason) for the company I will be contracted to work for. I'm really excited about this because I have been looking for something that I can do from home!

We're in the midst of a million summer activities. Grace has been to Bible School at the church down the street. It was her first school/daycare type activity being away from us on her own (other than with friends or family) so Mama came home & had a good long cry the first day I dropped her off. She LOVED it! She couldn't wait to go back & now that it's over she says "Hi Bible School" every time we drive by the church (like I said it's just down the street so that at least once a day!) We have been to the zoo, swimming, library, movies, fountains, taking walks, and just playing outside enjoying summer.

Gerry & I had a discussion last night about a little boy on the WC list. He has birthmarks that cover a large portion of his body. I'm sure with my experience in the dermatology world we could easily find a specialist and have it treated. He is only 21 days younger than Grace so we realized that he is too close to Grace's age. Also we really are planning on a girl. Maybe another adoption after this is done for a boy but definitely a girl this time.

Chrissy

Not Her

There were 43 people who applied for the little girl we applied for. Unfortunately our name was not drawn to be the ones to review her file. We are happy that she has found her family and we will continue to wait for OUR special little girl.

Application

Today we submitted an application for a beautiful little girl. She was on a list of waiting children from our adoption agency. This waiting children have medical problems that range from very serious to only cosmetic. We will be notified on Tuesday the 26th if we have been selected to review her file. I will post again then. We are definitely praying that this is our Lila. This is the Chinese symbol for HOPE!

Beautiful Song

These are the lyrics to a beautiful song that expresses so many of our feelings while waiting for Lila. She will be the answer to our prayers. We cannot wait for those first precious days with her.

I Could Not Ask For More, Sara Evans


Lying here with you, listening to the rain
Smile just to see the smile upon your face
These are the moments I thank God that I'm alive
And these are the moments I'll remember all my life
I've found all I've waited for
And I could not ask for more


Looking in your eyes, seeing all I need
Everything you are is everything in me
These are the moments I know heaven must exist
And these are the moments I know all I need is this
I've found all I've waited for,
And I could not ask for more


I could not ask for more than this time together
I could not ask for more than this time with you
And every prayer has been answered
Every dream I've had's come true
right here in this moment Is right where I'm meant to be
Here with you here with me


These are the moments I thank God that I'm alive
And these are the moments I'll remember all my life
I've found all I've waited for
And I could not ask for more


I could not ask for more
than this time together
could not ask for more than this time with you
And every prayer has been answered
Every dream I've had's come true

right here in this moment Is right where I'm meant to be
Oh, here with you here with me


No, I could not ask for more Than this love you gave me
Cause it's all I've waited for
And I could not ask for more


I could not ask for more

Grace is 3

Grace turned 3 on Sunday. Wow, I hope the wait for Lila goes as fast as these past 3 years have. We celebrated with a family party after church. She was so excited about her cake that she blew out the candles before we could sing so we had to relight them & start over. She loved eating her messy, sticky, chocolatey Pablo cupcakes for several days. We had a wonderful day playing, opening presents, eating and playing some more! Gerry and I were both a little melancholy at the end of the day wondering where our Lila is, when is her birthday, when will we celebrate her 1st birthday at home... We can only wait and pray that it will be soon and continue to enjoy our Gracie Grace as much as we possibly can.

Yuan Fen

Tricia is one of the members of the CHI China Yahoo group that I am also in. She always finds really informative articles on adoption and China then shares them with our group. She is a great resource, thanks Tricia! Today she posted the following information. I really liked the message so am sharing it here.

Yuanfen (or Yuan fen) is a Buddhist-related Chinese concept that refers to fate. In English we think of predestination as having to do with events of our lives, but yuanfen is related to fate in relationships between people. It is used positively to connote a blessing, a sense of 'meant to meet', 'meant to be together'. It can be defined broadly as the "binding force" that links two persons together in any relationship. When one meets a person who is hard to find, one can exclaim: "It is yuanfen that has brought us together!" This message speaks of love and the idea that everyone is predetermined to meet. It can be a reminder that it is yuanfen that will one day bring our daughter home to us. Be it God's will, yuanfen, or fate, we know it will happen.

Part of us

This is the Chinese symbol for family.

Lila is already so much a part of our family. We already hold her in our hearts and blow her kisses in the wind. Grace proved to me just the other day that she loves her little sister already. We were talking and I asked Grace if Lila was going to be her baby sister. Grace, in her sweet little 3 year old voice, said "Yeah, she’s my best friend!"

We truly feel like we are expecting a baby. The adoption community uses the term "paper pregnant" to describe this waiting period. It will be long but we cannot wait to see her for the first time.

I would like to try to explain issues she will face, our issues as an adoptive family, and our responsibilities as adoptive parents. Hopefully through educating everyone we can all help Lila when she comes home.

Lila will be abandoned at birth and have lifelong abandonment issues to deal with like wondering why she was abandoned, what was wrong with her that they gave her up, wasn't she good enough for them to keep, what did she do wrong to make them not love her? It is the responsibility of the adoptive family to provide unconditional acceptance and stability to help cope with abandonment.

She will have lived in an orphanage with hundreds of other babies and very few staff to care for them so very limited human contact. She will not have the copious amounts of love and undivided attention that parents shower on their infants. She will not understand love and not have learned to develop healthy relationships. She won't know how to trust or how to allow others to interact with & love her. She must be able to rely on her loved ones to nurture her.

She will be a minority in the US especially so in the predominantly white midwest. We will have to teach her how to deal with the racial discrimination that she will encounter from people at school, out shopping, at the zoo, in a park, in a restaurant, in any public place. She definitely doesn't need her family & friends adding to that discrimination.

She will see that she doesn't look like her mama, daddy & sister. She will feel that she is different from us. We cannot risk that someone in her extended family will treat her differently than they do Grace. She is in every way our daughter just as Grace is. We will not accept anything less than equality for both girls.

Please learn with us and learn to love & accept our new baby girl.

China Adoption Lore

"An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet, regardless of time, place, or circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle, but will never break." Ancient Chinese Proverb

This proverb is very popular among those of us who are adopting or have adopted from China. Some doubt its authenticity while others claim it has nothing to do with adoption but actually applies to finding your husband or wife. I think it really does apply to destiny bringing our daughter to us. Through all the obstacles and distance we will become a family.

Ladybugs are seen as a symbol of luck and hope during the adoption process. That's why I chose a ladybug theme for our blog. We have several ladybug items for Lila. I bought a giant ladybug pillow with matching slippers & blanket, ladybug sandals, a ladybug dress, and a ladybug shorts outfit. I have also given her a ladybug braclet & ring and ladybug toy that were mine when I was little. They are all waiting for her in her room. I hope the wait goes quickly.

100 Good Wishes

I have emailed or talked to most of our friends and family about the 100 Good Wishes quilt. So far I have 60 squares so getting close to the 100 I need. I have an idea of a quilt pattern to use but I do need to go look at quilt books to finalize what I'm going to do. Luckily there's a quilt shop in town! We also have a dear friend who is an avid quilter and is excited to help. I feel like Grandma Rieka is looking over my shoulder to help with this big project too. Grandma created the most beautiful quilts but she never taught me how. She said I was too much like her and would make myself crazy trying to get it done. I have trouble stopping something once I get really into it so I had to agree with her. I have a feeling I will be staying up til 2 in the morning many nights while quilting (case in point, here it is 11:30, I have a billion other things to do and I'm blogging). hmmm

First Post

Wow, that was easy. I just set up our blog for Lila!

Ok, we started this adoption process in March of 2006. We are done with all the paperwork & it is all in China. We were DTC "dossier to China" February 23, 2007 and got our LID "log in date" on March 27, 2007. The log in date means our paperwork has been received the the CCAA (Chinese Center for Adoption Affairs) and has been entered into their computer system. Now the wait begins. Currently the time from LID to referral is 14 months. I am guessing about 18 months-2 years for our wait.

This picture is Grace with all the completed paperwork before we sent it in.

Welcome to our journey!

Thanks for joining us,

The Conant Family
Chrissy & Gerry & Grace
Eagerly waiting for Lila!
Pets: Daphne, Harry, Oscar, Snakey, & George